Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Young Lives Lost Way Too Soon

On Sunday we heard the terrible news that there had been an horrific car accident in our local area overnight, two teens were dead and a third had been rushed to hospital.

It is news that sadly is heard way too often but what made this news hit home a little more was that Miss 17 had played soccer with one of the boys who had died.

We hadn't seen him for about two years since they played soccer, we didn't really know him other than for those two seasons that they were part of a team together, we didn't know his parents or his family other than in passing when dropping the kids to training or early morning games.

But still my heart ached for them.

My heart knows the pain of dealing with such a loss, albeit not as a parent, as it is nearing 12 years this September since my 21 year old nephew died in an accident.

I know that they will be all consumed with grief.  They will be wondering how the world around them can continue on when their son is gone.  Their sadness and pain will be so raw and cannot be put into words.

There is mourning for the loss of the person that he was and mourning for the loss of the person that he could have become, for all the things he will never get to do, for all the places he will never get to go.

They will ask 'why'.  Why was he there, why did he make that decision, why did this have to happen, why him?

Then a parents worst nightmare....planning their son's funeral.  This will give them some focus for the moment. They will put all of their energy into this. They will want everything to be perfect from the casket to the hymns to the flowers. They will want to give him the best farewell possible, it is the last thing that they can do for him.

There will be so many tears shed that day, his parents, his family, his girlfriend and his peers, their hearts will ache so much as they say their goodbyes. 

At the wake the stories and memories will pour out, there may even be a glimmer of happiness as everyone reminisces about the special times, the funny times.

After getting through all of this there will be so many firsts to get through without him.....the first Father's Day, the first Christmas, the first Easter, his next birthday, the first Mother's Day......but it is not only the firsts....the seconds and thirds and fourths....they all hurt....

There will be sad times ahead and constant reminders....his friends graduating from school, his friends celebrating their 18th's, his friends going to university or college, his friends graduating college, his friends getting married, his friends having families......it never ends.

There will always be an empty place at the table, a person missing from family functions, a sense of loss, but eventually his parents will find ways to deal with their loss, maybe it will be regular visits to the cemetery or a special part of the house dedicated to his memory. They will eventually have happiness in their days but they will never again be the same people that they were before that fateful accident.

His poor girlfriend will feel sad, she will feel lonely, she will feel like she was left behind.  She will always have a special place in her heart for him.  But she is young and hopefully one day she will be able to have love and happiness in her life again.

There are so many lives changed by one moment in time, one defining moment.  

I hope that his death will not be in vain.  I hope that his friends now realize that they are not invincible, that bad things don't only happen to somebody else.  This shit is real and this shit is serious.  

RIP Josh xx


  1. Oh so sad and such a waste. We heard last week that an 18 year local boy who coached Mr 7 in his gymnastics class died suddenly and unexpectedly from an illness. He was seemingly fine in the morning and gone that night. That thought has haunted me all week. He and my son share the same name. I don't know how a parent copes with such a loss. I guess they just do because what other choice do they have? xx

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    2. Sorry to hear of the passing of your son's coach.....that is such a terrible incident. I have no idea how a parent copes but as I have witnessed through my sisters loss they just keep going one day at a time.

  2. I have a Josh and reading this has just left me with shivers and a lump in my throat. So very very sad xx

    1. Shivers here too Mrs D. It is such a tragedy.....

  3. I have a Josh and reading this has just left me with shivers and a lump in my throat. So very very sad xx