Job Description - Hospital Matron

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JOB TITLE
Makeshift Home Hospital Matron


JOB DESCRIPTION
You will be responsible for providing all patient care and for the efficient running of your home hospital.  On top of this you will have to perform all of your existing motherly and wifely duties.


KEY RESPONSIBILITIES
You will be required to care for everyone in your household who sniffles, coughs or sneezes because these symptoms clearly mean that they are rendered unable to perform any tasks for themselves.

You will be required to administer medications, pass out tissues, make honey and lemon tea, hand out throat lozenges, change the television station, provide refreshments, issue damp flannels, tuck blankets in, fluff pillows, read stories.

You will be required to offer hugs multiple times a day.


SKILLS AND QUALIFICATIONS
Having given birth to these hypochondriacs pretty much qualifies you for this role.


SALARY AND BENEFITS
This role requires your full commitment every waking moment, and will often extend into your sleeping moments as well.

Rather than actual monetary reward your tireless efforts will probably be rewarded with the eventual contracting of the symptoms yourself and if this does occur you will find that there is no tea or sympathy forthcoming.


HOW TO APPLY
No need to formally apply because the job is yours, there are no other takers! You can pick up your medical kit at the front door and start immediately.  Good luck!!

Has your household been hit by cold and flu with the change of seasons too?  

Any tips to help us through it??