Yes... I Hate The Beach.....

Sun.....

Sand.....

Surf....

pretty much the three reasons why I hate the beach.....!!

Hear me out guys....I grew up in the Western Suburbs with older parents so trips to the beach were rare.....well more like non existent really.

So here's how I see it.... you can take the girl out of the Western Suburbs...but you can't take the Western Suburbs out of the girl !! 

Waking up on a scorching hot day and deciding upon a day trip to the beach is not something that fills me with joy!  I can't quite figure out why anyone would want to pile into the car with kids on a hot day and drive for what seems like forever to the beach to then stand out in the heat, have a little splash in the water, get covered in sand and then pile back into the car and drive all the way home...

But in an attempt to not pass on my completely absurd and neurotic behaviours to my girls day trips to the beach are a part of life.  As I catch the first glimpses of the ocean as we head down the coast I already feel like a fish out of water.  I dread rocking up to the beach in my Best N Less cossies and my Target thongs!

Then once I arrive at the beach...straight away there it is...SAND...there is no escape!!!  The sand is always so hot, burning the soles of your feet as you now scramble to carry beach bags, towels, squirming children....

Towels are then laid out, sun shelters erected and it is time for...yes...the WATER...argh really do we have to...can't we just sit here?

Cunningly I will take the youngest child who will need constant monitoring at the ankle deep edge of the water while hubby wrangles the others out in the deeper water.

Now I have to contend with both the sand and the water whilst standing in the intense heat of the SUN.....

Once the swimming is over, sand castles have been built and we are inevitably sunburnt despite applying and reapplying spf30 it is time to go home.....a moment of joy for me you would suspect....but no...it's not....because it is at this point that husbands announce that no one can get into the car whilst one grain of sand remains on their bodies....what the??? Seriously??  

So now comes the attempts to remove all of the sand from kids legs, hands, bums.....seriously pardon my French but it sticks like sh*t to a blanket....by the time you have managed to get as much of the sand off the kids and shoved them in the car before hubby has a chance to carry out sand inspections you have worked up a sweat!

And now you get all get into the car, drive all the way home with over tired children and a boot load of wet cossies and towels needing to be washed.  So this is supposed to be a great day out yeah?!?!

I have mellowed a little over the years and we now take beach holidays here and there...staying in a little cabin at a caravan park or a dilapidated old beach house which sounded so much better on the internet!!

It takes me a day or two to ease into the whole experience....and I'll admit that some nights I pray that it will be raining when I wake up in the morning and we can spend the day playing board games and watching Elvis re-runs on TV whilst admiring the beach views....now that is my idea of a perfect holiday....especially if hot chocolate is involved.  But more often than not we are graced with clear blue skies and soaring temperatures!

I have a few 'beach holiday requirements'.....on the top of the list is that it must be possible to walk to the beach....I am not getting into the car to drive to the beach on a beach holiday.....no way! 

So see, by staying at the beach for a week or so I am able to eliminate the agonizing car trips to the beach......but sadly the one thing that I cannot eliminate is the SAND....you can wash and hose and shower but it still  makes its way into the house.....bit by bit, grain by grain it builds up....and no matter how many times you sweep up the sand it is never completely gone....

Everyday, even two or three times a day, you have to sweep at the holiday house...I don't even sweep that often at home!  

You sweep up a little bit of sand....

....then a little bit more....

.....but you can still feel more sand under your feet....so you sweep some more...

...and before you know it.....there's a sand castle in your living room!!

After a week at the beach I do rejoice a little to be home....but even then you can't completely escape...you will be finding sand in your luggage, through your clothes, in your towels, in the car....you'll be finding it for days after the holiday ends.....aaaarggh !!

We have just returned from a few weeks of 'glorious' weather by the beach...the beach towels are in the wash as we speak, there is sand in my handbag...seriously, my hand bag didn't even leave the house!!  And there is a trailer load of unpacking to be done!

That's the beach trips done for another year for this Western Suburbs gal!!