I am a total B*tch!

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Ask if my daughter can come over to your place for a play date and I'll have her ready before you can say....well whatever....you know what I mean right?

BUT....if your daughter is coming to my place for a play...well then...I cringe!

I will mentally start counting down the minutes until you will be returning to pick her up the very second that you drop her off....whilst outwardly smiling and declaring that she can stay as long as you like...no problem at all....you'll be back after work, great!  {omg that's like 5 hours!!}

I know your daughter is as sweet as pie....of course you would think that....it's just that after some 12 years of play dates my patience is wearing thin...!

"No sweetie....the girls do not have their own bedrooms....yes I realise that you have your own bedroom....aren't you lucky!"

"Yes we do only have one bathroom...yes I know that that is not many bathrooms for  seven people....yes I realise that it would be better if we had more than one bathroom"

"Oh I'm sorry you only like peanut butter sandwiches...we don't have peanut butter...how about vegemite, honey, jam, cheese....no oh well"

"Ummm no you can't go out the back and play today because the grass is a bit too long....Oh what's that...oh your daddy always makes sure the grass doesn't get too long...wow isn't he just wonderful!"



Oh my gosh...still 4 hours and 57 minutes to go....




"Right yes our kitchen is a bit messy....thank you for pointing that out for me..."

"No darling, we don't have an x-box..."

"So you wouldn't just like to sit quietly and watch a dvd....are you sure about that?

"Yes I know that you don't have younger siblings....it's blatantly obvious!!"


4 hours 44 minutes to go....


"Yes our house is very small....believe me I am feeling it right now!"


And on and on the day goes...


About half and hour before your expected return I will start looking out the window every minute or two.....perhaps you will be early....oh please, please....

Generally you will be running late....of course I will smile and utter that it's perfectly fine, no trouble at all...haha we didn't even realise the time.....{have I gone too far there?}

Now I start hoping that you are just going to grab your child and run....I kinda loathe those forced little chats at the end of a play date too.

After a little exchange about the latest happenings, the weather, the impending return to school, umm the weather...you tell your child that it is time to go....which is usually met by pleading from them that they are still playing...argh I hate that moment!!!

The 'five more minutes' ultimatum is usually issued at this stage!  Then eventually....some twenty minutes later....after you have issued a few reminders to your child, then a few warnings, then a few stern words...it is time to bid farewell to this hellish playdate....until next time....whilst waving you off with a smile..vowing that we will have to do this again real soon !!

See I told you.....I'm a total b*itch!!

Is it only me that feels this way?  Please say it isn't...please. pretty please!!!